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Question: What is the last lesson that God has taught you?
Good thing the question asks about the last lesson God has taught me because if it was just "what is a lesson God has taught you?" I wouldn't know where to begin.
With the start of the new year, I've been able to get involved in LifePoint small groups. I'm currently in two small groups--one on Sunday afternoons which is open for more people (specifically Thais) to come and ask questions and process David's sermon from that morning. My other small group is on Tuesday afternoons and this is just for LifePoint ladies. We're studying James right now and it's been so awesome to meet with Tiffany and Liz and talk about the things with which we struggle.
Talking openly and honestly about my struggles with sin (anger, selfishness, idolatry, etc...) has produced an interesting effect--I wrestle with sin perhaps more than ever but am more painfully aware of the wrongness of my sinful attitudes and behaviors. It's like prayer and accountability remove the anesthetic that had previously comforted and soothed me (numbed me, rather) as I pulled away from God through acts of disobedience. If it is shocking to anyone that I serve in Thailand and still sin, my inbox (clairececil11@gmail.com) is always open for your questions. Perhaps I'll devote a blog post to it.
Without the anesthetic that allowed me to sin unrepentantly (regret and repentance are two different things), I was subject to my appetites and to my cravings. It was all too easy to justify my lack of contentment, my whininess, my lack of concern for the wellbeing of others. God, in His grace and mercy, doesn't desire that for me, his child. He wants me to look like His Son, Jesus. I'm reading a book right now by Dr. Russell D. Moore called Tempted and Tried (T&T) and God is using it in tandem with the book of James to confront me with the question, would I rather be fed or fathered?
I know how I want to answer that question. I want to be fathered. I want to submit to his authority willingly instead of dragging my feet, kicking, screaming, and sulking like a child. I want joy in obedience even if on the surface, obedience looks difficult and painful. There's more to it than simply telling yourself to "stop it" so if this is the case, how can I choose repentance (turning away from sin towards God) over sating my sinful appetites?
With the start of the new year, I've been able to get involved in LifePoint small groups. I'm currently in two small groups--one on Sunday afternoons which is open for more people (specifically Thais) to come and ask questions and process David's sermon from that morning. My other small group is on Tuesday afternoons and this is just for LifePoint ladies. We're studying James right now and it's been so awesome to meet with Tiffany and Liz and talk about the things with which we struggle.
Talking openly and honestly about my struggles with sin (anger, selfishness, idolatry, etc...) has produced an interesting effect--I wrestle with sin perhaps more than ever but am more painfully aware of the wrongness of my sinful attitudes and behaviors. It's like prayer and accountability remove the anesthetic that had previously comforted and soothed me (numbed me, rather) as I pulled away from God through acts of disobedience. If it is shocking to anyone that I serve in Thailand and still sin, my inbox (clairececil11@gmail.com) is always open for your questions. Perhaps I'll devote a blog post to it.
Without the anesthetic that allowed me to sin unrepentantly (regret and repentance are two different things), I was subject to my appetites and to my cravings. It was all too easy to justify my lack of contentment, my whininess, my lack of concern for the wellbeing of others. God, in His grace and mercy, doesn't desire that for me, his child. He wants me to look like His Son, Jesus. I'm reading a book right now by Dr. Russell D. Moore called Tempted and Tried (T&T) and God is using it in tandem with the book of James to confront me with the question, would I rather be fed or fathered?
I know how I want to answer that question. I want to be fathered. I want to submit to his authority willingly instead of dragging my feet, kicking, screaming, and sulking like a child. I want joy in obedience even if on the surface, obedience looks difficult and painful. There's more to it than simply telling yourself to "stop it" so if this is the case, how can I choose repentance (turning away from sin towards God) over sating my sinful appetites?
- I can pray for wisdom in the difficult moments. I know that the Spirit of God is praying alongside me.
- Recover a sense of who I am apart from what I want in that moment as defined by the Word of God (T&T, p.72) Though the Enemy would say differently, I am not what I want.
- As John, an IMB missionary and my boss, said months ago, "say 'yes' to God for one year." Willingly put myself in situations that don't naturally make sense.
I feel like I still struggle with the most basic things. In a conversation with Liz yesterday evening, I expressed a wish that all of this would be easier than it is. Liz responded with wisdom beyond her almost 25 years, "if it were easy, it wouldn't be worth having."
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