Chao's Story

A while back I promised I would feature some stories from Thai believers. Well, today I am fulfilling that promise! (Finally, right??) Chao is a very special part of our LifePoint BKK family. I am constantly encouraged by his faith, humility, and love that he displays. Thank you Chao for sharing your testimony here on my blog!!

Please bear in mind that English is Chao's second language so if anything is unclear, you can blame me because I edited it ;)

Chao on a LifePoint "vision trip" to India #missionary

1. When did you first hear about Christianity? What did you think when you first heard about it?

When I was young, I knew that there were three main religions: Buddhism, Islam and Christianity. I was born in Buddhist family so I only knew Buddhist doctrine. I didn’t know much about the other religions except that they were foreign religions.

One day, when I was maybe around 10 or 12 years old, I was watching a children's TV show about the bible and the host of the show announced that they would send gift sets to the viewers who sent mail to the show. I wanted that gift set so I sent a letter to the show. After that they sent me a gift set and some stuff with beginner lessons about Jesus. The introduction of the lessons said that if I learned from the stuff and did the exercises that were enclosed and sent them back, I would get a certification. From a kid’s perspective, I didn’t think too deeply about it because I just wanted the certification. 

So, I learned from the stuff about God and the story of Jesus and what he had done even though I didn’t understand it very well. I just did the exercises and sent them back. They sent me the certificate and challenged me to learn more about God. However, when my mom found out that I was studying about Christianity, she disapproved  because she thought that Christianity wasn’t the right way to follow. She forbade me from learning more and threw all of the lessons away.

At that time, I just knew a little more about Christianity but I didn’t understand about the concepts of God. I didn’t think about whether God exists or not. I focused on studying in school in order to get a better life in the future instead of thinking about the meaning of life.

2. How did you become a Christian? What led you to accept Christ?

When I was a freshman in the college, one of my friends told me that she was a Christian. She shared her experience and how God had blessed her. At first, I thought that she was trying to convince me to believe in God. I thought that it was fine for her to believe that but I couldn't see any reason why I should change my religion. 

One day, when I met her at a cafeteria, she introduced me to her friend who was the leader of Christian Club. He shared the whole Gospel from when God created the world to the resurrection of Jesus and he challenged me to prove the truth of God by spending time with him and the other Christians. I didn’t know if I could trust the things that he told me but I felt like there was some possibility that the story was true. Plus, I thought that I had nothing to lose to prove the facts. Maybe I could find the meaning of life but if it wasn’t true, I could just leave them behind and go back to the old way.

I spent time with Christians, joined a small group and went to church. The more time I spent with them, the more I knew God and got many answers for the questions that I never knew to ask. The leader of the Christian Club told me that I had to acknowledge that I was a sinner and needed God to take away all of my sins and welcome Him to my life. I did as he told. I learned so many things from them until I couldn't deny the truth of the bible.

3. How did your family respond to your decision to accept Christ?

From the day that I accepted Christ, I didn’t say anything about Christianity or that I had become a Christian to my family because my mom didn’t agree with Christianity. I was scared that my family would try to stop me from trusting in God and then I couldn’t join my brothers and sisters in Christ. 

Another reason is that I was afraid that my parents wouldn't believe what I said and think that I was obsessed with Christianity (in their eyes, a source of failure) and seem like I can’t fulfill their expectations for me. In their minds, if I don't have worldly success, they feel like I'm not mature and it’s harder to make them trust me. I decided to tell my younger brother that I’m Christian but haven’t shared the details and the Gospel yet. 

Update: Chao's Facebook status on May 27th, 2013 "Thank God I had an opportunity to share about God to my best friends. They listened and we had a discussion, but I believe that there were some seeds falling in their hearts although I couldn't make them clear. We can still be friends and I love the way that God helped me. Joyfully!!"

[**Please pray that Chao can continue to be a witness to his family and friends**]

4. What has been your experience with church? What is your favorite part of belonging to the local church?

I am constantly encouraged by our brothers and sisters in Christ through their lives. They point me to Christ. I can see their heart to follow God’s will even though they have problems. When we agree with God’s grace and love, we can follow His will together.

5. Do you have anything else you'd like say about your life in Christ?

I have made so many mistakes in my life but the only right decision that I never feel sorry about having made is believing in God and accepting his grace into my life. Actually I should say He chose me! I’ve been disciplined by Him and for Him. I couldn't rely on myself but now I can rely on Him and in the big picture, I don’t have anything to worry about. God’s love and grace is enough.

There’s nothing that can stop His glory and majesty, even our failure.

Q&A Series: On Faith and Freedom

Congregation at ECB [Source]

Question: Do you find any repression of the Christian faith in Thailand or are they pretty free to worship like us?

The word "Thai" actually means "free." Thailand prides itself on being the land of the free. People are free to do almost anything here--legal or illegal if you're willing and able to bribe law enforcement. The same applies with religious freedom. People are free to practice whatever they want and however they want. Most often, this is Theravada Buddhism. They are Buddhist because everyone else is Buddhist; their friends, family, classmates, co-workers, etc. are all Buddhists. While they may be free under the law to choose to become Christians, often this decision is made difficult by people in their community, chief of whom are their parents who hold a remarkable amount of sway over their lives. However, when Thai people choose to accept Christ, while they may be alienated from their families, they find joy in being a part of the body of Christ--the local and universal church. 

I hope in the future to feature some stories from my Thai friends who converted to Christianity. They have a unique perspective to offer on a topic about which I can only speak in generalities. 

Also, great news! The student I just started to tutor today is a Christian who goes to New Vision Church (the church on the 5th floor of the BSC). I had a wonderful time talking with her. She wants to improve her English so that she can better serve at the church plant the New Vision team visits every Saturday. "Ad" is a nurse in the ICU and I told her that as we were finishing, I felt like I had only scratched the surface of her stories and experience. I am SO excited to get to spend more time with her and hopefully encourage in her faith. Please pray with me for her to have more opportunities to share the gospel at work where peoples' lives hang in the balance every day.

She told me one story in particular that I want to share here on this blog: When the tsunami hit the south of Thailand in 2004, she went with the Red Cross to aid people who had been affected by it. Ad told me how one of her friends from church who is a Christian had been persistently witnessing to her mother who wasn't a believer but her mother was resistant to Christianity. However, the mother's house was near the beach that was hit and water filled her house so that she could only hold her head above the surface of the water near the roof. It was completely dark and in that moment, the mother remembered what her daughter had told her about God and she prayed for the first time, "God, if you're real, please help me survive this." As soon as she finished praying, she saw light coming through roof and she was able to swim towards the light and get on the roof. The mother is still a believer to this day. During the time that Ad was in the south working with the Red Cross, she got to share about Jesus with English-speaking victims. What an amazing God to reveal His miracles to us and bless that daughter in seeing her mother come to Christ!

A lil bit about Annie

I was chatting with my younger sister Annie on Line (our free texting app) and I asked her the simple but multi-faceted question, "what is God teaching you right now?" She sent me an e-mail with her answer:

At the Passion conference, I felt convicted to be more verbal about my faith, so I began to more expressive to my friends how my faith played a role in my life. In conversation I began to bring it up. I didn't get the response I wanted (excitement and acceptance); instead, I received rejection and separation because I wanted to give biblical answers rather than worldly answers. Even though I faced this rejection, I know that God used my words for a purpose because my friend listened to what I had to say. I know that I have to persevere in relationships because we are not suppose to live in a Christian bubble. God wants to use us to reach out to non-Christians. God reaches the 'unreachable' because he changes hearts. Even though we may think that a person will never turn from their sinful ways, God never gives up on His children. I now just want to keep shining as a light on campus and I want to use my words to bring others to Christ! It's not easy though because I doubt my biblical knowledge and fear that I will say the wrong things.

It is my joy and privilege to see how Annie is growing and maturing in her faith. She texted me on Sunday morning to tell me how excited she was that one of her good friends had just become a Christian. I think seeing how a relationship with God has changed Annie into a different, other-centered person had a lot to do with her friend's decision to accept Christ.

I am so proud of my sister for her boldness in stepping outside the Christian bubble (so pervasive among college-age Christians) and speaking truth and life into her lost friends' lives. Something Annie has realized that a lot of Christians in the US forget is that it's not just the duty of missionaries to share the gospel. Rather, it's the duty of Christians to be missionaries wherever you are--a college campus, your house, a big company, Bangkok. Wherever, seriously.

Many of us share Annie's insecurities about feeling like we don't know enough or might put our feet in our mouths. But according to some wise words I found here, "the gospel isn’t just about knowing or doing the right things, it’s about trusting in Jesus and what he did, and thereby living the full and joyous life we were created to live.  What makes the gospel unique—what makes it “good news”—is that it’s not telling us how to reach up to grab hold of God, but it’s about God reaching down to grab hold of us!  This good news is simple enough for a child to understand and deep enough that it takes more than a lifetime to fully comprehend it.  As people who God has grabbed a hold of, we try to live in ways that please him, humbly, imperfectly, always seeking to grow and be changed so that we’re more like him.  To do this, we pay close attention to living what the Bible teaches, since we see it as a wonderful gift that shows us what life as God intended it looks like.  We don’t do this to earn God’s love, but because we’re thankful for his love!"

If you'd like to read a really good, solid book that might help you get more of a grip on what it is that you're sharing, check out Greg Gilbert's What is the Gospel?

Love you lil sis. I can't wait to see what God does in your life.

I have not kept the good news of your justice hidden in my heart;

I have talked about your faithfulness and saving power.

I have told everyone in the great assembly

of your unfailing love and faithfulness.

Psalm 40:10

Q&A Series: Three Pieces of Advice to Aspiring Missionaries

[Photo Credit: The Library of Congress]

After a brief hiatus, the question and answer series continues! Thanks to those of you who have submitted questions. If you would still like to submit questions (anything you can think of), e-mail me at clairececil11@gmail.com.

Question: What advice would you give to other young people who are considering spending a year of their life doing missions?

Since it would be a bit lazy for me to pull a Nike and tell you on the fence to "just do it," I'll pull a fairy godmother and give you three pieces of advice:

1. Commit to at least a year. I know a year may seem like a really long time when you first start thinking about doing missions but it's not. I've been in Thailand for eight months (with the exception of that trip to Laos) and now that I have about four months left here, I feel like the time has flown by. I am SO glad that I had that conversation with that missionary during the initial vision trip in August 2011 that cemented this amount of time into my brain. In any sort of missions environment in the world, it takes time to build partnerships and opportunities to do things aren't always there ready for you the moment you step off the plane. In fact, you may not even be ready when you first start. For example, Liz and I started tutoring the women at Rahab on a weekly basis in January. I would have felt so overwhelmed by my inability to speak or understand Thai and my lack of experience in teaching English had I started this tutoring commitment in June 2012. God knew I would need quite a bit of time before I was ready. Having more time gives you the freedom to be patient.
2. Be ready for culture shock. Culture shock is a bit like jet lag--you never think it will happen to you until it does. Even then, sometimes it's hard to identify what you're experiencing. Despite the name of this blog ("mai pen rai"), I don't always share that easygoing attitude. There have been times where it feels like I'm the only person who truly cares about the quality or impact of something. This is where my American perspective doesn't mesh well with Thai culture. Other times I feel like I'm going to explode if we take one more group picture. Wherever you are serving in the world, your background and your expectations are at some point going to clash with the culture. What matters is how you handle this clash of cultures. I've learned that the wrong way to handle it is to rail against it and I'm still practicing handling it better. It helps to have someone to go through it with you and keep you in check. Speaking of which...
3. Bring someone with you who can keep you in check. I have absolutely no regrets about coming with my partner in crime, Liz. I've known Liz since the summer before my freshman year at UMW. I got a sweet letter in the mail from my Orientation Leader with a Bible verse on it and I knew I needed to get to know this girl. Little did I know back then that I would be spending a year in Thailand living one floor below her! I consider Liz to be my mentor because I can confide anything to her and she doesn't put up with my crap. Everyone needs a person like that in their lives. Oh yes, if possible, bring this person with you to the mission field. It will be good for both of you!!

I found the picture at the top of this post through the Library of Congress. Though it just shows the backs of two American missionaries in Shanghai, I find it really interesting that they are wearing traditional Chinese costumes of the period. For the record, when Liz and I come back to the US, we won't be wearing any sort of traditional Thai costume.

Q&A Series: On Proverbs 16:32

[Photo Credit: Dan Alderman on Flickr]

Question: What Bible verse has been on your heart recently... and why?

Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.

Proverbs 16:32 (NLT)

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

Proverbs 16:32 (ESV)

Patience is not touted as a virtue in Bangkok. Most taxi drivers illustrate this clearly as they try to maneuver their way through bumper to bumper traffic, making tsk-ing noises, tapping the wheel, occasionally sighing in frustration. What I want to say to them when I can see these ticks and twitches from the backseat is "you signed for this!" and "no one forced you to be a taxi driver in Bangkok!" However, even though I feel like I'm going to meet my Maker almost every time I get in a taxi or sit on the back of a motorcycle taxi, this verse comes to mind and makes me think about the things that draw out my ticks. What unmoving traffic do I rail against as if my anger could actually change anything?

I heard a great sermon by Tim Keller recently called "Forgiving and Forgiven" (I highly recommend you listen to it; I plan on listening to it at least five more times this month) where he says that we have to redirect our anger away from a person but towards a problem. He tells us to ask two questions when we feel angry and impatient:

1. What am I defending? 
2. What am I attacking?

Keller says we must first repent of our selfish defense and comb out selfish parts of our motives in order to ask these questions and be able to redirect our anger appropriately. I used to think it was somehow wrong for me to continue to struggle with the same sins after I became a Christian. Dr. Moore addresses this in Tempted and Tried, "Pretending the appetites are instantly nullified by conversion is a rejection of what God has told us--that we are still in the war zone" (p.73). I thought that my struggle with anger was evidence that spoke against the certainty of my salvation. I let my salvation rest on how well I was following Jesus instead of on who saved me from death, from hell, from meaninglessness. 

How can I respond to this scheme of the Enemy? That's where the self-control comes in. How exactly though does one "rule his spirit"? I can ask those two questions when I feel like I'm losing patience and becoming angry. Sometimes the things I rail against are related to culture shock (you'd think I'd be over that after living here almost eight months...). However, just like the traffic in Bangkok, the things about Thai culture that frustrate me are not going to change just because I don't like them. I can sigh, 'tsk,' shake my head, or blow up all I want but that's not how one looks more like Christ--our ultimate goal in being disciples of Christ.

Keller goes on to say that you have to be continually in worship, constantly meeting with God so that Christ's character grows in you and pushes off the old character. He instructs us to throw off sinful anger! Get rid of it! Do not put up with it in your life.

My prayer for myself and for whoever reads this blog is that you make worship a priority so that when something rubs us the wrong way, we can be of one mind with Christ. Pray that we cling to the Word, meditate on it, and treasure it.

Q&A Series: On Missing Thailand

[Photo Credit: Paolo B on Flickr] 

Well this is day two of the Q&A series! I'm so excited to get to share some more insight into life here and answer some questions that you all have. Keep them coming! My e-mail is clairececil11@gmail.com.

Question: What do you think you will miss the most after you leave? (aside from the people)

Is it lame to say the food? Seriously though. Thai food is the best food in the world and I've lived here for long enough to supposedly have tired of it. I don't think my mouth will ever not water when I think about papaya salad and sticky rice. Or BSC food court chicken fried rice. Or fresh cut mango...the list goes on. And on.

This question is tough because I keep on thinking of who I will miss (e.g. LifePoint church, BSC guesthouse residents, the Thai staff at the BSC, etc) and things related to living in Thailand with other ex-pats/"farangs"--it's instant community. I've heard that's what it's like for deaf people. Wherever they go, they see another person signing and they can instantly strike up (sign up?) a conversation. In Thailand (less so in Bangkok), if you hear another English speaking person, you can chat/commiserate/share with them because they understand your struggles.

Additionally, I think I will miss the platform that I have at the BSC. I talked to my Thai friend Taam last night about my concern over correcting one of my older students who to be polite says "yes, sir" to me (to clarify, a female teacher) every time he responds to something I say to him. Taam said, however, that in Thai culture even if you are much younger than your student, you as a teacher are in a separate category and can therefore correct an older person without risking them "losing face" (being humiliated) and never coming back to your class. I really like teaching adults. They are respectful, fun, and eager to learn and practice English. Now I'm back to talking about who I will miss. Oh well.

I have so much freedom in my classroom that sometimes it's scary how much freedom I have. Aside from making sure I teach what's in the book, I can teach whatever God has laid on my heart. I'm excited about my last week of classes because I'm planning on showing my students a video that illustrates the gospel and then going through a hand-out that has a Thai/English gospel presentation. 

I would love for you to pray that God opens the door for questions and gives me the wisdom to answer those questions.

Q&A Series: On Lessons God is Teaching Me

[Photo Credit: Stuck in Customs on Flickr]

I'm pretty excited about the next couple of weeks because I'm opening up this blog to you and your questions! That's right. Anything you want to know (within reason, obviously) I will do my best to answer.

Question: What is the last lesson that God has taught you?

Good thing the question asks about the last lesson God has taught me because if it was just "what is a lesson God has taught you?" I wouldn't know where to begin.

With the start of the new year, I've been able to get involved in LifePoint small groups. I'm currently in two small groups--one on Sunday afternoons which is open for more people (specifically Thais) to come and ask questions and process David's sermon from that morning. My other small group is on Tuesday afternoons and this is just for LifePoint ladies. We're studying James right now and it's been so awesome to meet with Tiffany and Liz and talk about the things with which we struggle.

Talking openly and honestly about my struggles with sin (anger, selfishness, idolatry, etc...) has produced an interesting effect--I wrestle with sin perhaps more than ever but am more painfully aware of the wrongness of my sinful attitudes and behaviors. It's like prayer and accountability remove the anesthetic that had previously comforted and soothed me (numbed me, rather) as I pulled away from God through acts of disobedience. If it is shocking to anyone that I serve in Thailand and still sin, my inbox (clairececil11@gmail.com) is always open for your questions. Perhaps I'll devote a blog post to it.

Without the anesthetic that allowed me to sin unrepentantly (regret and repentance are two different things), I was subject to my appetites and to my cravings. It was all too easy to justify my lack of contentment, my whininess, my lack of concern for the wellbeing of others. God, in His grace and mercy, doesn't desire that for me, his child. He wants me to look like His Son, Jesus. I'm reading a book right now by Dr. Russell D. Moore called Tempted and Tried (T&T) and God is using it in tandem with the book of James to confront me with the question, would I rather be fed or fathered? 

I know how I want to answer that question. I want to be fathered. I want to submit to his authority willingly instead of dragging my feet, kicking, screaming, and sulking like a child. I want joy in obedience even if on the surface, obedience looks difficult and painful. There's more to it than simply telling yourself to "stop it" so if this is the case, how can I choose repentance (turning away from sin towards God) over sating my sinful appetites?

1. I can pray for wisdom in the difficult moments. I know that the Spirit of God is praying alongside me.
2. Recover a sense of who I am apart from what I want in that moment as defined by the Word of God (T&T, p.72) Though the Enemy would say differently, I am not what I want.
3. As John, an IMB missionary and my boss, said months ago, "say 'yes' to God for one year." Willingly put myself in situations that don't naturally make sense.

I feel like I still struggle with the most basic things. In a conversation with Liz yesterday evening, I expressed a wish that all of this would be easier than it is. Liz responded with wisdom beyond her almost 25 years, "if it were easy, it wouldn't be worth having."